Think, Not Believe

In the book ‘Labaik’ when M. Mufti asks Qudrat as to why he adds ‘maybe’ to every answer he gives. Qudrat replied, “Because only God is all-knowing.”

I was taught very early in life to be very careful when uttering the words, ‘I believe’. One should rather replace it with ‘I think’. ‘I believe’ is like putting a period; barricading reception and creation of new ideas. It renders one incapable of budging from own viewpoint and does not give way to someone else’s thoughts.

Think of the immense vastness of space and then say, ‘I’. Saying ‘I believe’ is similar to that. It creates the same sense of insignificance.

I have reserved ‘I believe’ for the places where according to Zulfiqar Ahmad Taabish; wings of reason and intellect get burnt. The dimension where a little spark of love is all what is needed to do the trick.

One can always argue that even in those regions one should keep the channels open and not block them with ‘I believe’ but I have observed that you can think only to a certain extent; after which things start getting messed up. This shouldn’t be a good enough excuse but sometimes it makes life a lot less complicated if we just let go. It feels great and of course you're not hurting anybody.

Domestic Happiness

Marriage is not only a physical relationship and people usually mistake the bond between a husband and wife as a love relationship. This is a huge misconception. In fact marriage is an institution where people learn to live together. They learn to tolerate other’s weaknesses, likes, dislikes, and all types of irrational behavior. They teach themselves to mold according to one another and learn to accept the difference of opinion. Smoothing out the sharp edges of personality; people get a lesson on kindness, forgiveness and how to keep other happy. Finally when the children become part of the family, people adopt to the ways of selflessness and sacrifice, leading to domestic happiness.

Translated from Mumtaz Mufti's Talaash.

Talaash ( The Search ) - Mumtaz Mufti

True to its title, in the book, the author has set out on a journey in search of answers. Answers to the questions, we are too scared to ask. Although till the very end he maintains his lack of knowledge on the subject but manages to hint towards our dilemma and its possible solution.

We in our ignorance have separated the two aspects of religion. One being the form and other, the spirit. Serving and feeding the form while completely and conveniently disregarding the spirit. All our efforts have been concentrated to bedeck the exterior and subsequently we got lost in the embellishments. It never crossed our minds that maybe the fact that our neighbor has eaten to his full is more important than arguing about how high should the shalwar be while praying. The flag bearers of truth, justice, equality and tolerance lost everything to the form; lengths, widths and count.

An impregnable wall of “respect” has been raised rendering people incapable of understanding the religion. God has been portrayed as a father figure, someone to be feared instead of a mother figure, someone to be loved. This gives out a very stern image and disheartens the youth.

People are discouraged to be critical and to ask questions. Religion has been made mysterious, a secret which only a selected few can understand and comprehend. We have let those few lead us by the noose and they make sure we never raise our heads, which would jeopardize their authority. They try to make to make the whole thing complicated with piles of books consisting of mere rhetoric. In reality the religion is not that tricky. Those who claim their special right on religion have shut their minds and keep gloating that their knowledge is complete, their word is final and cannot be challenged.

Unlike the popular belief religion pushes us to reason and explore. Science and religion do not have to negate each other. The former can help us better understand the latter. It is the character which is in dire need to be overhauled. The true essence needs infusion.

Beyond Tragedy – Kathleen Kennedy Townsend

In this month’s Reader’s Digest I came across this article by the daughter of late Robert F. Kennedy. It describes how death has been always present in her life and how she coped with the untimely loss of so many family members at a very young age.

She writes,

“…We acknowledge the pain and the loss. We develop rituals – religious services, music, funerals and wakes – where friends gather, hug one another, cry together and share stories and laughs. And we remember. I don’t like the saying, “Time heals all wounds.” It is not true. Years later, people can still be terribly sad and miss their mother, father, child, sibling, friend. Scars remain unhealed."

I always get baffled by the sheer courage of people who withstand something as shocking and terrible as death. The mere idea of losing a loved one is enough to make one shake. Kathleen writes about how her father dealt with the death of his brother, John F. Kennedy.

“On the day that President Kennedy was buried, my father gave me a note…what he wrote to me did not convey fear, anger, or bitterness. He did not speak of revenge. He focused on the future:

Dear Kathleen,

You seemed to understand that Jack died and was buried today. As the oldest of the Kennedy grandchildren, you have a particular responsibility now – a special responsibility to John [my cousin] and Joe [my brother]. Be kind to others and work for your country.

Love,
Daddy

CAN YOU IMAGINE, in your own moment of horrendous loss, reminding your child – and reminding yourself, really – to turn outward, not inward, to perform works of kindness and not of anger and revenge?...”

Yes, it is hard to imagine. Times like these can make one self-centered. You want the world to revolve around you. You want to be left alone but at the same time you want someone sitting right next telling you that everything will be alright and he/she will never leave you.

Based on her personal experiences, Kathleen shares some lessons she has learnt over the years.

“…go to the funeral…it’s there you mingle with families, listen to them talk, and lend your full support. Death opens an enormous hole in the heart. A funeral brings together those who can help fill that hole.”

I know how hard and difficult it can be to console someone who has just lost someone. There is absolutely nothing to say. Words lose their meaning and start sounding too small and pretentious. I always think that there is nothing one can do or say which would somehow lessen the mourner’s pain. I think in reality we don’t want to let that pain go away. Anything contrary to it is considered an insult to the departed one.

Maybe it is. If I die and have the chance to look over my funeral proceedings, it would be nice to see a couple of tears gracing my remembrance.

The writer also goes on to explain what could be done in a case like this,

“…it is better to be rejected than never to try at all. Your friend can always resist the effort...But it is hard to imagine anyone not appreciating it…The outstretched arm, the warm embrace, the freshly baked cookies, or the fragrant flowers do not replace life. Not by any means. But they do say to a grieving friend, “You are loved, you are cherished.” ”

http://www.rd.com/your-america-inspiring-people-and-stories/kathleen-kennedy-townsend-looks-beyond-tragedy/article102047.html

In Search of Originality

In search of the original, it might not be unusual to first tread the swamps of unoriginality. There is always a chance that you might get stuck in it, unable to budge and finally drowning in it. The mud creeps in your body, barricading everything which might have given vent to an original idea.

Count them lucky who pass this swamp and enter that hybrid zone where originality is the toddler, led by a firm hand of unoriginality. At first the walk is shaky and it is difficult for the little one to maintain his posture but he gradually learns, finding his feet, trying to balance himself. Finally considering himself capable enough, he lets go of that hand. Instead of following the old and worn out paths, he can now pave new ways, explore virgin lands and set fresh landmarks.

But it is always a good idea to look back at those old paths once in a while. Maybe there was a turn we missed or a sign we overlooked…Perhaps there is someone out there who needs our hand.