Second servings and First meetings

My folks are always surprised when they see me gulping down food after returning from a wedding, party etc. I know it shouldn’t come as a surprise for someone who is well aware of my gulping habits but people usually assume that one has to stuff one’s food reservoirs on such occasions so that it lasts till the next wedding, party etc. I just have a problem with second servings at these kinds of occasions only. It feels that every eye is following my plate, counting how many times I scooped up the spoon. I thought of piling up my plate in the first go like we do at salt n pepper’s salad bar but even that seems too big a challenge.

Very unfortunately I am overtaken by this phobia when I have to refill my cup at subway. Every time I pledge to myself that no stepping back this time, I can always hear the man at the counter saying, “Second time eh? You’re sure? Please don’t look at me, it’s absolutely fine, go ahead but you’re really really sure you want to do this?” Shut up!

I dragged myself to the first (hopefully this year’s last) aftar party. Apart from hating the combination of these two words; aftar and party, it is agonizing to attend a gathering where know to don’t know ratio is 1/30.

It is more hilarious to see others trying to strike a conversation than I making an effort to keep up with them. I am perfectly fine if they let me sit quietly in one corner of the room. I am completely harmless in that way but the host thinks that you are getting bored (it is supposed to be my happy face) and he drags a person out of the crowd, roughly my age, gives a short introduction and leaves.

Gotcha! There is no way out. Appearances are my first impressions. The moment someone starts walking towards me, my mind is feverishly charting out his/her character map. Mostly the maps which are turned out aren’t very encouraging. After the initial and famous hello-hi, mono-syllable answers are the way out. Still if the other person persists and doesn’t leave with a polite excuse me (which I am most happy to do), I finally start making an effort, acknowledging his sincere determination. It usually goes fine from there but I guess it’s those initial jitters which make the whole experience exhausting.